As a child I always loved limbo. Not necessarily the full on cheese of tiki torches and roasting pigs, but the simplicity of a broomstick held up by two gym teachers. My love of this game, which is hated by most, is probably a byproduct of my size. I’m short and relatively flexible. That made me good at it. I wasn’t good at many games.
It’s been quite a few years since I shimmied my way under a broomstick, but I once again find myself in that same awkward position. This time it’s a state of mind rather than a state of being and I doubt my size will help me now.
I’m living a double life—once again showing my Gemini colors. I have my life at College—a couple of really close friends, a team, someone to warm the sheets and a bunch of fun people to party with. I have my life at “home”—a couple of really close friends, a castle with a kitchen that I reign over whenever Mother is away, a smidgen of family, a pair of dogs and a handful of other people I occupy my time with.
These lives may not seem very different, let alone contradictory, but they are. Maybe not necessarily the parts that make up each life, but how I live each life. All I know is that they’re different.
Don’t get confused, I love both lives and I wouldn’t give up either for all the Sailor Jerry’s in the world. But I hate the double life. I hate the stop-start existence I’m currently living. I live my College life for several months then I have to push pause so I can spend a weekend with Twin or ChiChi or a holiday at “home”, where I re-start that life, only to pause it again when the break is over so I can re-start College life.
This double life has become increasingly apparent over winter break. The differences in my actions, the type of people I hang out with, even how I handle my drinking and dinner conversation is different. This doesn’t mean one life is more authentic than other; they’re just different. And I wish I could blend them. But I know I can’t.
So yesterday I pushed pause on my “home” life, packed up my car with all my earthly possessions, and made the 7 hour drive back to College. Getting off the interstate and driving through town for the first time was like a strange déjà vu.
I’m back! College life has restarted!
Nothing could have confirmed that better than getting O’Captain, My Captain to buy Roomie-Dearest and I a case of beer (our first case ever!) then drinking in my room and getting hit on by Mr. Jackson* before stuffing my bag with beer and heading over to visit Cesar, the Minimalist and co. We laughed. We didn’t cry. Crazy tried to teach Roomie-Dearest how to take shots and the Minimalist and I made out. I woke up this morning naked in his bed with my clothes (which he described as fruity just because I was wearing a scarf and saddle
shoes) in a pile on the floor, the Minimalist still wearing his jeans and no memory of going to bed. The only thing that could have made this an even more classic College morning would be if after watching cartoons in my undies with the guys I went to the dining hall and ate a delicious tofu lunch.
Oh wait, that did happen.
College life has officially restarted. Class and rugby start tomorrow.
*Mr. Jackson- formerly Dustin. I’ll try to stop changing names so much.