This isn’t high school where there is one scheduled fire drill a month, everyone files out in an orderly fashion and you waste a few minutes of class. No, this is college where there are no fire drills. There are just fire alarms. That go off at odd times. For odd reasons. Stupid reasons like someone burned a bag of popcorn or didn’t turn the oven off in the communal kitchen. When that incessant noise begins everyone in the building is required to drop what they’re doing and assemble in the parking lot. If you don’t evacuate you face fines. If you do evacuate you face a crowd of pissed of college students who have been made to stand and wait the 5-10 until the fire trucks come (even though the station is half a block away and it shouldn’t take that long), then the 10-15 it takes the firemen to suit up, grab unnecessary equipment and go inside to discover the cause of the alarm, and finally the 5 extra minutes it takes to make the announcement that it is safe to re-enter because there is, in fact, no fire.
This is a highly annoying process that I have been lucky enough to only have endureed a small handful of times. Then yesterday happened.
There I was around 11pm, innocently sitting in my room doing homework and researching what vegetables to plant in the upcoming month, when I hear the screeching of the alarm. Oh fuck. So I grab a jacket, lock my door, and file down the stairs with my few freshmen. As I’m exiting I do see a few people frantically running, as if it were a real fire. This is comical, but not enough to reverse my anger.
Once outside I find my posse, bitch for a few minutes, and begin the waiting game. 10 minutes later 3 fire trucks roll onto campus, sirens blaring. This was completely unnecessary. The firemen get their lifesaving tools and enter the clearing not burning dorm. 10 minutes later we’re told we can enter.
Considering it had been a week or so since the last alarm (for which I wasn’t even present) I don’t stay pissed for too long. I eventually go to bed, expecting a few hours of wonderful sleep before an 8am gym call.
HA! I couldn’t have been more wrong.
At about 4am, while in a deep, peaceful, bear-like sleep, the fucking alarm goes off again. I’m pissed the instant I wake up. Getting out of bed I find my pants and shoes. Roomie is trying to find her clothes by phone-light. I angrily turn on the ceiling light because, honestly, who the hell are we trying not to disturb? I stomp downstairs, gather in the parking lot and wait. While waiting I angrily listen to people complaining about their lost sleep and how we should get out of early classes in the morning.
Seriously? I think to myself. Grow the fuck up. Nobody, including myself, cares.
As you can tell, I’m angry and have no patience.
The fire trucks eventually come (only 2 this time) and the ordeal begins again.
It didn’t take too long, though, before PSafe stuck a head out a 3rd floor window and announced someone pulled the alarm intentionally (not even a hint of burning bacon) so we could all come inside.
I angrily shuffle up the stairs behind hordes of the slowest walkers possible, and upon entering my room, strip off my pants and throw myself into bed. I quickly fall back asleep and wake without a hint of anger.
Moral of this story:
Fire alarms happen. They’re not drills planned by the school. They’re stupid people doing stupid things. Blame the students. But they’re not that huge of a deal. Keep some shoes and a jacket by the door and you’ll survive.
Ugh, I hated fire alarms. There was a stretch of about a month that the alarm was pulled at least 3 times a week in my apartment building. My cat did not like it.
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