Sunday, August 30

Ay Dios Mio

Twin came for a visit and there was no shortage of activities this weekend (as long as you were willing to traipse through the woods, in one case). Really, it couldn’t have been a more perfect weekend. Not only was it great because I miss her, but she really helped me see clearly in a few instances. One such instance involving the less fair sex. Allow me to explain:

I’ve been hanging out with this guy, My Shadow*, but he’s become capital-C Clingy (something I like about as much as oral surgery). He’s always popping up, holding my hand, putting his arm around me, smiling at me, wanting to hang out. I may sound crazy for not liking those things, but honestly, if I wanted something glued to my hip and cooing at me, I would have a baby. I’m on birth control so obviously I don’t. BUT, he’s just nice enough for me to put up with. I started convincing myself that I could be content with him. Content? Fuck content. If I’m so afraid of commitment and the such, why the hell would I be willing to be content? Therapist says: because in that situation, I am the least involved and therefore feel in control. And Therapist is always right. PLUS, there’s no chemistry. This is what Twin helped me realize.

If you want to talk about chemistry, let’s talk about the Minimalist. I spent pretty much the whole weekend partying with him, both with and without My Shadow and the difference in the Minimalist’s behavior is evident. That could also be because he was just so impressed with my flask (which is bigger than his). A moment of truth instance happened the second night-his friend, for whatever reason, began chanting “kiss her”. I, of course, was all game, but couldn’t make that obvious. And you know what happened? Huh? Huh? Come on, guess. Oh yes, he kissed me. And not a little peck. An actual kiss. With tongue! I sound like a silly middle-schooler now, I realize, but it was just one of those moments, so forgive me. Long story short (because I should really be doing homework), people went back to his place, him and I hung out in his room, he gave me my own glass of whiskey (which everyone refers to as his girlfriend, so that was big), and I woke up in his bed at 7:30 this morning. Not in a slutty way, though, so don’t start thinking I’m a whore and trying to help me find Jesus. Both of us were fully clothed (minus my cardigan, but that doesn’t count) and were never anything other than that. I must say, though, I think I won some major ground.

And if it wasn’t for Roomie-Dearest planting the seed in Cesar’s head, who then planted the seed in the Minimalist’s head, and Twin for reminding me to stop settling all the God-damned time, I probably would have spent both nights being cooed at and touched by My Shadow. And honestly, nights are no time to have a shadow.

*My Shadow-a sophomore I met while smoking in the gazebo. He’s a rugby player, a Boy Scout and pretty interesting.

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