Why dog barf?
Because you know what’s in shit. You know what caused shit. Dog barf, on the other hand, is a complete mystery.
I’m chalking it up to a good ole fashioned hangover and blaming warm beer, keg beer, unset Hello Jello, vodka and old tequila mixed, and a little bit of Hennessy plus a night of dancing, getting sweated and stepped on (hello possibly re-broken foot. Is this the 3rd or 4th time we’ve met?), too many cookies and not enough water, and my constant state of stress and sleeplessness for my current state of dog barf.
I even look a little like dog barf.
Yes, I did just take that this morning. Yes, I am still wearing last night’s dress.
If you can’t tell, yesterday was a rugby day, hence the Hello Jello.
Unfortunately, I made this batch on Friday night after having a drink or two so I think (and by think I mean definitely) I added too much Hello (vodka). That threw off the delicate scientific balance that is Hello Jello and I wound up with it on my hands the next morning when I went to take it out before the game.
It later got drank through a straw (bad idea).
From there I went to an off-campus party with some friends (including Arch Enemy). I danced. I drank. I’m pretty sure I had a nip slip or three. And Arch Enemy proposed…with my own ring. It fit perfectly, though (imagine that), so I took it as a sign and said yes. I think we’re going to Vegas after finals.
Rewind who knows how long.
I lost/blacked out and hid my purse containing my school ID and room key. So I’ve been living off the grid for a week now. The Minimalist’s parents were in town so we spent another Sunday afternoon at his brother’s house with them. The difference this time, though, was that Sunday became Monday and we hadn’t left yet. Him and I ended up sharing a quickly deflating air mattress in the living room after I ate ham
(super duper bad idea, I was sick till Wednesday), drank whiskey and had a heart to heart with his father. Yup, I’m that kind of girl.
We also went to dinner with them on Friday, though that meal was far less exciting. The only story-worthy happening was his father practically dancing on the table to the Indian music videos that were playing.
And his mother, who hates me less, invited me to Vermont in August. I, of course, intend to block out that commitment for the next couple of months.
I’m sure some other things have happened since I last wrote, but the only other noteworthy thing I can think of is…
I got an internship!
An awesome internship!
The greatest internship ever!
I’m going to be writing (yes, actually writing all by myself) a column for a food and culture magazine in my Dirty Dirty town.
What will this column be on?
The vegetarian and vegan food scene, of course!
Talk about made to order perfect.
I’m jazzed beyond belief and can’t wait to get home and start eating. And I don’t really have to wait that long to get home because May 6th is the magic day.
Yup, just 11 short days before my freshman year is over. And now I’m hyperventilating.
Off to find a paper bag to breath/barf into.