Your Morning Briefing.

Allow me to give you the Spark Notes of my Friday because I’m exhausted, hung-over and in the process of trying to get 5 other people in two states to a third state at the same time.

It appears my school isn’t as liberal and alternative-lifestyle as I thought. I’ve come to this conclusion because they’re selling Portobello mushroom sandwiches as vegan. You may be wondering what the problem is. Allow me to tell you.

Sandwiches have bread, this one is no exception. Bread is made using some form of animal product (usually milk, sometimes eggs or butter). That means it is not vegan.

Rugby practices on the field next to the ultimate Frisbee team, which afforded us a lovely view of two male Frisbee-ers naked. Yes, naked. I assume they were practicing for the points in the game when, by tradition, they have to play naked. Whatever the reason, it was so enjoyable it caused our lesbian captain to yell at us to stop watching their balls so we could catch out own.

Last night was the annual “Coming Out Ball”. What’s that you ask? Pride, the GLTTBIQQA (I don’t know if all those letters are correct, but you get the idea) club, hosts a dance every year in which people dress up in costumes to show what they’re coming out as. I came out as a fat kid, complete with sweatpants, fat camp t-shirt and a Hershey bar coming out of my bra. Roomie-Dearest was a slut. Westchester was a girly-girl. You get the idea. The dance was in a small room with a ton of people and a great DJ (who played techno and house music, not a single rap song). Everyone was dancing, everyone was drunk, everyone was having a blast, at a school-sponsored event, no less. I saw two sets of male gentiles, one guy shave his mustache while a cheering crowd watched, Westchester ate chocolate off my boobs. I can’t wait until Pride’s next dance-Gender Bender. That should be interesting.

Now I’m off to get some much needed coffee before grabbing the Minimalist and zooming off to Myrtle Beach for a Brand New concert and my best friends.